So recently an opportunity came up for me to apply for a television show for trans people, following their transition for a few years. I kind of want to apply? I’m torn… I’m a pretty private person when it comes to serious things, I hate being serious and I hate talking about serious topics, and doing so in front of a television crew seems so strange. I feel like it might make me a spectacle, people watching so much of my life simply because it is strange to me. I also feel like it’s an opportunity to be a part of something great. I might apply anyway and I could always change my mind later but I fear that if I were to get accepted the documentary could be more about ‘look at this weird thing isn’t it so different’ rather than an educational thing for people to learn that transgender people are just as boring and normal as everyone else. My biggest fear however is people who know of me learning more about my private life. I love people, I always have, I love speaking to people and getting to know them but I’m not big on sharing. Even telling people that I am transgender is terrifying simply because it means they know more about me.
However the reason I made this blog was to learn a little more about how to open up and how to talk about things that are more private. The one word people use to describe me the most is ‘mysterious’ but maybe I can learn to change that?