So I have been doing a LOT of research into transitioning lately, mainly focused on testosterone. Recently I was informed that it would take up to two years to receive hormones on the NHS. I don’t want to self-medicate hormones, I want to do it legitimately, but it’s very hard when you’re being told to wait so long. Recently I found out that there is a private clinic in London that will, if all criteria is met, prescribe hormones after the first meeting. This was huge news, the only problem is costs. It’s looking to be around £500 for both appointments and travel, which is amazingly cheap compared to what I expected, and I could pay for it now, but I need to clear everything with my GP and make sure I can afford this route in the long-run without complications. It’s unfortunate that the NHS provisions for trans people is so lacking and so half-assed (like most of their mental-health related services) and that I have to resort to private medicine for it, especially as going private is so complicated. However I cannot wait that long for hormones, I would end up self-medicating them before long and that’s not healthy. So, I need to prepare for hormones.
The first step is to quit smoking. You have to have stopped smoking for at least three months before they prescribe you anything. This is because of the way testosterone interacts with your blood, making it thicker and more likely to clot. Smoking also does this and so combined the risk of clotting is too high to be medically safe. I also have to come off of my current medication for the same reason. To be completely honest, one of the main reasons for me to start smoking was because it can sometimes lower a persons voice, which taking testosterone would do way better. So I have no real issue with quitting smoking, I can still use electronic cigarettes too.
I am excited and nervous for this, but more for coming out to people in my life who don’t know yet. I am making preparations for that to happen and to live authentically full-time but the idea of doing that is exciting but scary in the way that a big roller-coaster is scary. I know I’m going to enjoy living authentically and transitioning will make me happy, but there’s this deep gut nervousness, which is natural for any big life change.